Alex in Wonderland
by The Essential Word
Summary: AU!fic where Alice is now a boy named Alex in a Wonderland filled with women out for him for one reason or the other. Love and danger collide and Genderbended versions of the original characters abound.


This being an AU fic I reserve the right to change things at my whimsy. Elements of the original story in the games and manga should still be recognizable, however. Read, review and enjoy, please.

X

Alexander Liddle was sure that there was nobody in any place or time who was more of a gentlemen than his brother. His brother was tall with broad-shoulders and a gentle smile that sent women into a swoon. Not that his brother noticed. Among one of his many virtues was modesty.

Alex would never be his brother. He knew it and everyone around him knew it. His heart was too cynical and his tongue too sharp for him to ever be a gentlemen. Women disliked him, for he wasn't the one for idle flattery or silly flirtation. He said what he thought no matter what, and there was nothing more that people disliked more than hearing the bare and simple truth.

In front of his brother he tried to hide it, but it was tiresome watching his poised brother and knowing in his heart that he would never even come close not matter how hard he tried to change himself.

As was custom, they read together under an old tree, shaded from the mid-evening sun by its broad leaves.

"You know," his brother began, one hand resting on the open book in his hands. "I really believe that Pamela likes you. You should give her a shot! Buy her flowers or something. She's such a pretty girl."

Alex tried to hide the feelings of disgust that overwhelmed him. _No, she likes you and is only using me to get to you. _Instead, he shrugged and pretended to concentrate on his book. "I might," he said, knowing full well that he would rather jump off the roof of the house than come within five feet of the girl.

"She's a nice girl. Has many charming attributes," his brother continued. "Dresses well, well-born…really, I don't think there is any question to it. Go and woo her."

"Need I remind you that I just got out of a relationship?" he said. _And now know that any future relationship I'm in will likely involve lots of pain and misery, just like that one._

"Plenty of fish in the sea. Take the opportunities when they arise, brother."

"I'll consider it," Alex said, wanting badly to be off of that topic of discussion.

For the next hour they made idle chit-chat about their studies and the books they had read. It was nothing particularly interesting or riveting, but Alex liked his brother's company, anyway. It was only when they got around other people and everyone started talking of how perfect his brother was that Alex became annoyed and unhappy.

Their relationship would have been perfect if not for other people trying to compare the two and Alex always falling short.

Alex sighed. He was jealous, envious of his brother. It was a bad thing, he knew, but he couldn't help it. Even pleasant moments like this were tainted by the bitter echoes of what people had said about the two. Often they said how Alex was "such a quiet, unlikeable boy with no friends" and "so unlike his dear gentlemen brother."

It made him sick.

Alex looked up when he heard a shuffle and saw his brother standing up. He wiped his trousers off and smiled that gentle smile. "I think I'm going to go inside. I have a get-together to attend later, you know, and they'd be disappointed if I showed up in clothes with grass stains on them."

"Go ahead," Alex mumbled, his eyes fixed on his book. He knew it was yet another get-together that he wasn't invited to.

"Try not to fall asleep again. You know it's not sanitary to fall asleep outside in the grass. You wouldn't want Pamela to think you're dirty, would you?"

"Of course not," he said. When his brother left his attention went back to his book.

It was a story of a girl who follows a rabbit down a hole into a strange and dangerous land. He was very familiar with the story and had read it many times since childhood.

It was always a girl, Alice. When he read the story as a child he sometimes pictured Alice instead as a boy. Sometimes he even went so far as to make himself the main character of the book.

He remembered always disliking the ending where Alice simply escapes the Queen of Heartl. In his mind he instead imagined Alice engaging in an epic swordfight with the Queen's soldiers and then beheading the nasty Queen and taking the throne for herself. It was much more interesting to him that way. He always thought it was a grave oversight of the author that Alice never engages in even one tiny duel to the death.

If he were to write the story he would have added a dragon. There were already knights in the story, after all. A dragon would be fitting.

As the thoughts filled his mind, he found himself growing sleepier and sleepier. He set the book down beside him and, ignoring his brother's advice, found himself lulling into a gentle slumber. He couldn't help it. The grass was as soft as a mattress and the sun as warm as a blanket. It was as if the day was simply asking him to go to sleep.

He woke up after a few moments, startled, and caught quite a sight. There, running heedlessly in front of him, was a rabbit in a dress with a bow between its ears.

He blinked, wondering if it was a trick of his eyes, but the rabbit was still there, running. His eyebrows raised, and he seriously began to wonder if he had drunk something he shouldn't have. But, of course, he hadn't.

Standing, he raced after the little rabbit. It ran ahead of him, going as fast as its little legs could take it before it stumbled upon a hole between the roots of an oak tree.

It turned. Alex could do nothing but stare.

Quite suddenly a rabbit was no longer standing there. It was a woman, her dress fluttering around her. He noticed she had white rabbit ears, glasses and a smile that unsettled him.

"So you followed after me?" she said. "That means one thing! You're in love with me!"

"What?" Alex said. Love was the last thing on his mind. Bewildered and confused and freaked-out were definitely in the top spots.

"I knew it would happen because I loved you the moment I set eyes on you! Oh, you wonderful, handsome man! You make my clock tick faster in my chest! Come with me, love, and we can be together!"

"Wait, wait, WAIT! I've known you a total of two minutes, have talked a total of one sentence to you and now you want me to come with you? When a second ago you were a walking rabbit? And now I'm supposed to be burning with love for you? What?"

"What part doesn't make sense to you?"

"All of it! God, what have I been drinking? Or smoking? I'm intoxicated. I have to be."

"On love?"

"NO!"

The woman laughed and came towards him. He took an uneasy step back, but it didn't faze her. She latched onto his arm, nuzzling her head against his shoulder. "It's not often that you find your true love! Take it where you can and come with me!" With that, she began dragging him towards the hole. He was too startled and confused to fight back.

He thoroughly regretted not fighting back when she pushed him right down into it.

Darkness surrounded him as he fell and all he could make out was the figure of the woman falling with him.

She held his hands and they fell together, Alex feeling helpless. His stomach lurched every inch of the way down.

It ended with him sprawled on the ground. He was too disoriented and out-of-sorts to bother looking around. His vision was blurry. When his head finally cleared, he looked up and saw the woman from earlier standing over him.

"I hope the damage is temporary, my love."

"I'm not your love," he said, rubbing his head as he stood up.

"But you are." She held her hands to her heart. "You are my dearest and sweetest love. You are my shining star."

"Shining star? Please don't call me that again. It sounds just awful."

"How about I call you my only and truest and dearest heart who shall be mine forever?"

"And I'll just call you insane," he said, stepping back. "Now can you please take me back up?"

She laughed. "There is no way back up. You're stuck here with me forever. We might as well get married and have 2.5 children."

"Lady, I don't even know your name."

"The names of our children are going to be Louisa, Sarah and for the one-half one Stumpy!"

He gave her a disgusted look before turning away. He was on top of a tower, the stone floors beneath him hard and cold. All around him he saw the blue sky. Rushing towards the edge, he looked over to see a new and different world. There was a theme park with its roller coasters reaching high. There was a castle in the distance. Cities dappled the landscape. All of it seemed impossibly small from this height.

This…height…

He felt like vomiting.

She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulders. "Welcome to Wonderland!"

He was too shocked to push her off. "W-wonderland?"

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"You're lying."

"I'm telling the truth, Alex."

"How do you know my name!"

"Because you're my future husband and father of my children!"

This comment made him push her off. "Oh God, no I am not!'

"I know 2.5 might seem like a low number. I personally have 99 brothers and sisters! But I figure we should aim low and work our way up to at least 50!"

At this point Alex was terrified and feeling sick and wanted nothing more than to be back at home. "Take me back."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," she said gently. "But I can do this." In her hand he noticed she held a small vial. "Drink this." She held it out towards him.

He eyed it warily. "Is it poison?"

She shook her head.

"Is it a drug that'll knock me unconscious?"

She paused. "Hm. Good idea, but I'm afraid not."

"I'm not drinking anything you give me."

"What a shame," she said. "But not really, because it means I'm going to have to do something that you might not like as much as I will." She drank the vial herself and stepped towards him.

She held his chin and kissed him, transferring the liquid from her mouth to his.

On reflex he swallowed it.

"Do you like it?" she said.

"It's disgusting. You're disgusting."

She cocked her head to the side. "What cruel words to tell your one true love. But no matter. You'll come around in time. Just like the hand of a clock, you'll come around to me."

She turned and began to walk away towards a door on the other side.

"What did you just make me drink?" he said to her fast retreating back.

"It's a potion to help you fit in."

"It makes me insane like you, doesn't it?"

"Oh dear," she said. "I hope not. I need you sane for what I have in mind."

She continued walking towards to door, only stopping momentarily to tell him, "My name is Peggy White, by the way. I'm sure I'll find you again. That's how love works."

The door slammed shut. He fell against one of the tower's low walls, his mind bursting with confusion. What exactly was this place? It couldn't be _the _Wonderland? He certainly wasn't a girl and his name was not Alice. So what _was _he doing here?

He stared at the empty vial with a sigh. _Might as well take it. _He dropped it down into his deep pocket and then turned towards the door that the insane rabbit lady had just used. _She should be totally gone by now…hopefully. _

Through the door he found a staircase that spiraled deep into the darkness below. He followed it down for what seemed to be an eternity, each step seeming to be but a part of a never-ending staircase.

With great relief he finally reached the bottom with only a large door blocking the way to the outside. Opening the door, the bright sun greeted him.

Aimlessly he wondered through the strange landscape. _I'm lost…brilliant. Guess I'll just keep walking in circles until I…get lost even more. What the hell am I doing?_

Soon he came across a large iron gate. Coming closer he saw a building in the distance beyond the gate. _Maybe someone here can help me._

Something cold and sharp was poised on the back of his neck.

"Look at big brother! He's pawing at our gates, snooping!" said a high, girlish voice.

"I bet he's a thief!" said another girlish voice. "And you know what we do to thieves."

"Kill them horribly?" Alex said, gulping. _I get transported to a new and interesting world and what happens? I die. God, do you hate me?_

"Don't worry. We'll make it fun!"

"Fun for us! Which one of us is going to do it?"

"Me, of course," said one of them.

"But I want to do it," whined the other.

"Well, you can't."

"I will!"

"You won't!"

"I am!"

In the middle of their fighting, Alex managed to slip away from whatever sharp object had been pointed at him. He hadn't bothered taking a look as he ran.

He heard their high indignant screams behind him, and it only propelled him farther faster.

Until he ran right into something soft. He let out a "hmph" and immediately looked up to see what it was.

A tall woman, taller than even him, stood before him. Her blue eyes stared right at him in anger. A large scarf was wrapped around her neck and shoulders.

_Oh great. Another one. _Alex thought when he saw that she had rabbit ears just like Peggy. He prayed she wasn't another insane pervert.

"Those incompetent brats let you go, did they?" she said. "Well…" She pulled out a gun and pointed it at his head. "I am far more competent. And I will show you. But first I want to know if Mary Gowland sent you."

So she wasn't a pervert. She was just murderous. _Take what I can get, _he thought.

"Nobody sent me," he said.

"Okay. Then I'll just kill you now."

"Wait!" he cried. He heard little footsteps come up behind him. It must have been the two children from earlier. He groaned.

"We could have handled it, you stupid rabbit!" he heard one of them say.

"Well, you failed," she said. "And now I have to deal with it! And call me a rabbit again and I'll show you what's what after I'm done with him!"

"But aren't you a rabbit?" he said innocently.

Silence. Dead silence.

"Did you just call me a rabbit?" she said, slowly, her face coming closer, threateningly towards his. "Because I am not."

"Uh…really?" he said.

He was positive that in the next moment she was about to pull the trigger, but before she did a gentle voice interrupted.

"If you're going to kill a petty thief," said the voice, which was obviously female. "You should take it farther from the gates. It leaves behind such an unattractive mess."

"Is anyone concerned about the fact that you're about to kill me for doing absolutely nothing!" Alex said. "Seriously, all I did was get lost, walk up to the gates and now you're trying to kill me!"

The rabbit-woman's gaze snapped towards him. "You're not a thief?"

"No!"

"But you are a trespasser," came the gentle voice from earlier. "Why shouldn't we kill you?"

"Because I had no idea I was trespassing," he said. "Look, quit pointing that gun at me and maybe I can explain."

Still eyeing him distrustfully, the rabbit-woman removed the gun from his head. She still kept it ready at her side, however, but at least it was pointed down.

Before Alex had only gotten a close look at the rabbit-woman. Now that she let him go, he could turn and see the other three.

There were two young twin girls dressed in guard uniforms, except the uniforms had girlish skirts. They held axes that looked ten-sizes too large for them.

The newest comer surprised him. She was a small, slim woman wearing a short, white kimono that came to her knees. It fell slightly off her shoulders. Her black hair was cut straight at her chin, and a large rose was in her hair. She was beautiful in a very cold, dark way.

And he recognized her. He knew that face. It belonged to a girl he loved once, a girl named Beatrice. "Bea? What in the name of God are you doing here?"

"What are you talking about?" she said. There was something very frightening about her. He knew immediately that although she may have Beatrice's face, this was not Beatrice. At all.

"Oh," he said. "My mistake then, I suppose."

"I believe I let you go so you may explain why you are here," the cold woman said. "Unless you want to be killed by my associates, then I want you to tell me everything."

He was suddenly quite conscious of the fact that everyone around him was armed heavily. This made him speak at a rapid-fire pace. "I'm Alex Liddle. Alexander, actually. And I'm from England. London, to be exact. And I have a brother and—"

The woman immediately cut him off. "You're a foreigner?" she said. She smiled. "Why did you not mention that in the first place? It would have changed everything. Welcome to my home."

The other three looked at him in shock.

"Let's make him feel welcome," said the woman. "We have you at a disadvantage, after all. We know your name. So to begin the introductions I will say I am Rose Dupre. They call me the Blood Rose sometimes, I suppose, but who can help what moniker their enemies give them? And I have many, many enemies, so you'll excuse your rude welcome." She pointed at the rabbit-woman. "That is my associate Elliot and they are my guards Dee and Dum."

Alex nodded stupidly. This woman seriously just went from murderous to friendly and welcoming within the span of a minute.

She held out a small, delicate hand.

Numbly, he shook it.

"What a fine handshake you have," Rose said. "So, you are now a guest here and I promise that so long as you behave yourself nobody will kill you. Now, will you behave yourself?"

"If I agree to be a guest…what does that mean? I can stay here?"

"Of course," she said. "You can stay here. Stay as much and as long as you like."

In this strange world, he needed somewhere to be his home, his anchor. Although these women were threatening and frightening, he was aware that he had no other choice. "Then I'll…try not to piss anyone off," he said. "I'll stay here."

X

This fic is really experimental. I haven't really been able to define a lot of these characters yet, so if anyone has any ideas or suggestions then feel free to offer. I'd love to hear them.


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